Put a New Spin on your Old Story

Never be discouraged

 

Are you one of those people who continue to beat yourself up about things of the past?

It’s time to stop that nonsense.

 

 

“Never be discouraged about your past. You may not fully realize all you have learned from it. Those who have weathered the largest storms are most able to understand how to help those who struggle. You have a rare and unique gift to offer the world.” The Baglady

It’s time to look at those old events as valued experiences for your present and future success.

Having grown up in a loving family, physical abuse was never part of my experience. I was unsympathetic to anyone who would put up with bad treatment. My thought was, “Get out!”

Imagine my surprise when I found myself in an abusive relationship and could not leave? My friends begged me and continually worried for my safety. Of course, I had my reasons (like all abused people do) for putting up with it.

While I was in the situation, it seemed like there were 2 voices in my head fighting with one another. The old me kept yelling “Get out.” The abused me found so many reasons why leaving seemed impossible.

Long story short, I finally escaped. But I also learned so much from the experience. I’m much more understanding and compassionate now.

Instead of beating yourself up for your past, what did you learn? How are you better for it?

The answers to those questions are now part of the gifts you can share with others.

Falling Apart in Reverse

images83N6J625Right before Christmas, my legs both stopped working. Walking became so painful that, after consulting 2 chiropractors, I went to minor emergency on Christmas Eve.

Imagine going from perfectly fine to feeling disabled in a matter of days.

It was kind of scary, but I’m good in a crisis.

So I followed the doctor’s instructions, took the drugs, and went in for tests to see what could cause this major upheaval in my ability to function.

The tests came back with no insight as to my problem.

Yesterday marked a month from the beginning of this little detour into the world of sitting still with my leg up.

I’d been handling it pretty well. Well… let’s say I’d been maintaining my sense of humor about the situation.

Still, it was starting to get scary.

There are so many things I had to alter. My friends were going to the store for me, etc.

My leg seemed to be getting worse by the day instead of better. I still have a week before I can see the orthopedist and I really felt like I was further damaging my leg with every step I had to take.

Last night I called on a friend who is an athlete. I knew that he had dealt with his own sports injuries for many years. I conveyed to him all the issues I was having.

He brought over 3 different kinds of knee bands and explained what he thought might have a happened to start me on this downward spiral.

The very minute I put on the bands, the massive pain of taking a step was relieved by such a great degree that I almost cried.

Suddenly, I felt like I would get better.

Long story short….

This is the way it always goes for me in a crisis. I’m cool as a cucumber… just plodding along trying to find an answer or solve a problem.

Then, the moment the crisis starts to abate, all the scary stuff I must have been holding inside come gushing out in the form of such overwhelming gratitude.

I’m actually walking around my house today. Both legs doing their share. And I’m crying.

Why cry now?

Should I call it “falling apart” or “falling together?”

No matter what I call it, the reason is gratitude. Beautiful, sweet, pure and simple gratitude.

Stop Eating Worms

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You’ve heard the little song, “Nobody likes me. Everybody hates me. I’m gonna go eat worms…”

People will come and go in your life, but there is one person you can always count on. That is, if you make of yourself your own best friend.

We are actually taught something early in life that does not serve us well. That thing is to put all others before ourselves.

Before you stop reading and call me a fraud, give me just a minute to help you see a new perspective on it.

I’m NOT saying to put yourself first. I’m saying to make your needs equally important to those around you. Make sure you give as much love to yourself as you would want to share with others.

Contrary to public opinion, this is not selfish.

There is actually a very ‘Un-selfish’ reason to do just that.

When you are filled up with love, your connection to God and to humanity are ever greater. When you give from that fullness, there are endless stores of generosity that can pour forth.

Wisdom will tell you that you cannot give anything that you do not have.

When you come from emptiness, you leave yourself starving.

And what does that lead to? You can end up begrudging others if they do not give back to you.

Thus, the song. You feel unloved.

Be your own best friend. Treat yourself well and there will be no more eating worms in your future. Best friend

A New Take on Journaling

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Yes, it’s true. Many people are touting the positive effects of journaling, especially about gratitude.

And…. So am I. But do you know why it is so important?

Do you know how to quantify the value?

MATH!

The more good you put out, the more good you get back. It’s just math.

Ask yourself this question. “What percentage of my life do I approach from a positive perspective?” That will be just about the same amount of good you see coming back to you.

For example, if it’s 50%, about half of your life is working right now. Every small improvement you make in your attitude will result in more good coming your way.

When you set aside time every day to consider the things you are grateful for, the time you spend becomes part of that math equation. Because of your effort to focus time on the bright side of life, you tend to notice more good in your world. Thus, you continue to expand the percentage of the positive in your life.

Don’t wait for the outside to improve first. Be grateful for what you already have and more will follow. Once you see that a gratitude journal is a small effort with a huge benefit, you’ll be sharing this ‘New Math’ with everyone you know.

 

 

Mustard Seeds, Mountains & Men

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Several years ago a strange thing started happening in my life. At first I didn’t even really notice.

It just happened to be in the men who came into my life.

 

A guy had just broken my heart and I was sitting across from a dear friend crying over my lost love.

Larry listened patiently to all my woes, handing me tissues at regular intervals and letting me vent.

I was totally burned out with the life I’d been living. A bonafide workaholic, my values were all materialistic. I lived in a huge home and had surrounded myself with all the creature comforts. It sounds good on paper, but I was really unhappy with every aspect. The man was just the icing on my cake of discontent.

After I’d calmed down, Larry got my attention and asked me, in all sincerity, “Dina, what do you really want?”

Without a moment’s hesitation, I told him that I wanted to move to a commune and grow vegetables. I could see myself standing in a beautiful field of green in a gauzy dress and large brimmed hat, my apron holding today’s bounty. I wanted a more spiritual life, one that had meaning.

At the end of my description he said, “ You probably wouldn’t want to leave your ivory tower.” (That’s what he called my house.)

I assured him that I would gladly leave it for happiness.

Then he countered with, “You wouldn’t want kids.”

And I convinced him that I was finally ready to have kids. I could do that.

After letting me get my whole idea out, we ended our conversation and life went on.

tumblr_mo3r2x82bq1s8b6s6o1_500Within a few days, I met a widower with 6 young children who lived way out in the boonies. He was 100% back to nature; wood heat, no air conditioning, composting, gardening, home schooling. You get the picture.

 

Basically everything I had asked for. But, at the time, I didn’t tie it all together.

He ended up being too difficult for me. His religious views and dominating ways were over the top. (But then I had asked for something kind of ‘over the top, hadn’t I?

So, the next thing I decided I wanted was someone educated and logical who didn’t believe in God at all. And, if he did, I never wanted him to talk to me about it.

Low and behold, along came the perfect match to my latest asking.

That was also a disaster. If there is anything that is important to me, it is my spiritual life. For me to say that I never wanted to talk about it was strictly the pain of the moment .

I still had not made the connection between my thoughts and my results.

God, needed to finally get me to see what was going on……

A few weeks later I attended a lecture where the speaker talked about manifesting the things you want in your life.

I had a eureka moment. I had unconsciously been asking everything that was happening to me.

I argued that manifesting was not all it was cracked up to be. And, while he was teaching people to do it, everything in me was saying “no.”

At some point I asked him why, considering how much trouble it could cause, was it something to experience.

His answer shook me. “Only thru the experience will you see how very powerful you are.”

As it turns out, our asking, is a form of prayer. I did not know that I had been praying.

My outcome was disturbing, but the results sure did teach me to monitor my thoughts.

Now that I know that my thoughts/prayers are so powerful, I finish all my asking with “If it be Thy will.”

More than anything, I want my life to be what is in the highest good for all concerned.

The faith of a mustard seed can move mountains. I only want to move the ‘mountains’ that God would have me move.

And men?  My prayer for a good man?

Lord, only if it be thy will. And you choose.

Paint Your Masterpiece

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Right before you were born, God placed in your right hand a brand new artist’s canvas, rolled up like a scroll. And in your left, a handful of bright colored paints.

 

He hugged you tight and kissed you on the forehead. “Go into the world my child and make of your life a beautiful masterpiece.”

Shocked at the sight of a newborn armed with such sophisticated materials, the doctor pried your little fingers from the gifts you were born with to your screams of protest.

“A baby cannot possibly have the skills to paint on canvas with oils.”

Soon they were replaced with a page marked with soft blue lines, each with a number in it and crayons labeled with matching numbers. As they tucked these in your crib, you were assured, “Life was about staying in the lines and painting by the numbers. If you do that everything will work out fine.”

And that is a lie!

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Who Will You Be Today, Your Authentic Self or …?

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Think about all the personalities we employ as we go about the days and years of our lives.

For most of us there is the daughter, the employee, the mom and the wife. Or the husband, father, employer, brother, etc.

There are also more complex versions of all of us that we employ based on the circumstance and our frame of mind at the time.

Some show us who we want to be more of and others give us a view into our… well… let’s call it our “self improvement needed” side.

I’ve recently had an extended encounter with my ‘Over Accommodating’ persona.

Those who hire ,e can get a very good idea of the subject matter of my talks by first reading The Baglady’s Guide to Elegant Living or taking my on-line courses.

A running theme throughout my work is that of figuring out who you really are and living from that place.

As I prepared to work with a new group, it was requested that I put in writing what I would say. Trying to be accommodating, I did that.

They had other requirements of what I needed to include and so I added and rearranged. We were working back and forth for quite some time, and I was beginning to be concerned that in order to meet the restrictions I would either have to memorize or read my talk.

That is certainly different than my normal presentation method, but I wanted to be cooperative.

As restrictions became overwhelming, I started dragging my feet. It affected all my productivity and enthusiasm. Not on just that presentation, but on my work in general.

Something just didn’t feel right and I found myself doing everything I could think of to avoid my work.

I finally realized what had gone wrong. I’d lost my way, forgotten who I was.

The ‘Over Accommodating’ personality had descended upon me like a thief in the night.

A round peg doesn’t fit into a square hole, but we can sure wear ourselves out trying.

All it took was remembering my true self and recognizing that I was out of alignment. Once able to see the problem, I got back on the right track. Immediately things changed.

Enthusiasm returned.

Truth and Consequences

What if, your life was actually a movie playing out in front of you to show you the consequences of your thoughts and actions?

Just imagine that possibility for a moment.

Then take a quick look at it from the standpoint of it being your movie. Kind of a cool idea, huh?

And further….. what if your life really was that? Would you be happy with your movie?

What genre would you categorize it in? Drama? Suspense? Horror? Romance? Family rated?

If you are not completely satisfied with what is playing out in front of you, it’s never too late you switch your category.

The truth is, the life you see out in front of you starts with your mind. But most of us think that it is our exterior circumstances that are causing everything we see ‘out there.’

You can see what an endless and frustrating merry-go-round a person can be on always hoping that their life will change so that they can finally be happy.. When, in fact, their life/ their movie only transforms by them finding more peace and satisfaction inside themselves.

This isn’t an easy change… but that is only because the real truth runs so counter to what we have believed all our lives. As you gather your belief around you, and give it a try, you will see subtle changes that will help you ‘change your mind’.

We’ve all heard “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

The truth really is that…. “When you believe it, you will see it.”

BELIEVE!
_____________________________________________________Dina Dove

As an author, inspirational speaker, and coach, I am dedicated to helping people remember who they really are at their deepest core and discover their unique path to career and personal fulfillment.

For further information, please contact me at support@DinaDove.com

www.dinadove.com
http://www.facebook.com/BagladysGuide

One Word Changes Everything

I seem to be doing a great deal of coaching with people who ‘give too much’.

These are an outstanding group of people who do amazing things. They are gifted, giving, humble, gentle and unfailingly kind.

They are the quiet, unassuming types who go about their days spreading happiness straight from the heart.

They give to everyone, even to the point of depriving themselves.

While intending to follow the most beautiful commandment, “Love God with all your heart and your neighbor as yourself”, they are accidentally missing the boat. And it’s all because of one little word. The word is “as”.

Love God with all your heart and your neighbor AS yourself.

That one little word, when emphasized, changes everything.

It’s wonderful to shower love on others, but if you leave yourself out of the equation you’ve completely lost its intended meaning.

Remember to treat yourself as much consideration as you do others. Not only will it improve your life… you are encouraged (even commanded) to do it.

And really, it’s all about God in the end. For how can we best show our love for Him on earth?

By loving his children. And… you are one of his children, too!

You deserve a measure of kindness equal to that you give others.
_______________________________________Dina Dove

As an author, inspirational speaker, and coach, I am dedicated to helping people remember who they really are at their deepest core and discover their unique path to career and personal fulfillment.

For further information, please contact me at support@DinaDove.com

www.dinadove.com

http://www.facebook.com/BagladysGuide