Don’t be a Heel! Feel


Let’s face it. Nobody can really hide their emotions.

Oh they can pretend to do it. Instead of clearing the air and dealing with negative feelings in a straight forward manner, they can pretend nothing is bothering them.

We all can notice the way resentments rear their ugly heads through sarcasm or giving other people attitude. Think, rolling the eyes, shooting the ‘look’.

Several years ago I taught an attitude course for a group of juveniles in a lock up facility. You could just tell by their body language that several did not value what I was teaching them.


So that day I decided to use myself as an example.

I first struck a pose to indicate that I was disgusted with them. They named it. Next I walked in the room as if I thought I was better than everyone else. They called that one too. There were several other personas I took on. They read me like a book.

After we had had a little fun at my expense, I turned the tables on some of them. “What is Jeff saying to us right now?” They could easily name boredom, uninterested, and all the basic ‘I could care less’ attitudes. They could also name attentive and willingness.

Now turn your eyes upon yourself. When you don’t work out your unforgiveness, you aren’t fooling anyone.

Some people think that it is better just to hide their heads in the sand rather than face their true feelings. I’m all for letting past hurts go, but that does not happen by pretending that they never happened. When you push your negative feelings down, they do nothing but fester under the surface. And, that’s no way to get rid of them.

If you can work out your differences with someone in a kind way, communication and cooperation are always my preference. However, that is not always possible.

There is a healthy way clear the energy of past hurts. Transform them.

  1. Take a good look at the hurts you are carrying. List them if that will help.
  2. Look more deeply. There was a blessing in each one of them.
  3. Discover how you can honestly see the positive aspect of that experience.
  4. Find the gift it held for you.

Every circumstance is different, but you will be able to find the blessing if you look for it. It will change your entire perspective.