Pecked to Death by Geese

pecked by geese

There are profound moments in everyone’s life when they hear something that really ‘hits the nail on the head’ so to speak.

Maya Angelou gave me one of those moments several years ago. She put words to a feeling she called, “Being pecked to death by geese.”

She was explaining that she did not allow any person to speak unkindly to, or about, another in her home. Even tiny jabs, sarcasm towards, eye rolls, etc., aimed at another were not allowed.

At the first sight of such behavior she would look seriously at them and state, “Not in my house!”

Those small, almost invisible little bites at another take a little bit from a person’s value, one piece at the time; a peck here, a peck there.

Over time, those little things add up and eat at a person and destroy their feelings of self worth. Maya’s word for those little insidious jabs taken at others…..

“Being pecked to death by geese.”

It’s a message to all of us to check ourselves.

maya quote

 

 

 

 

 

 

It bares repeating.

“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Maya Angelou

Do your words and actions lift others up or take them down?

We each have great power to change the world, one kind word at a time.

Changing up the Order for Success

training

There are all kinds of success trainings and wealth seminars happening every day throughout the world.

I’ve taken many and given a few of them as well.

But why don’t they stick? We go and get all excited, take lots of notes, buy the program CDs and videos. And then we go home and back to the lives we had before. Not too many days go by before the things we learned take a back burner to the daily grind.

What will really make the difference, the lasting difference, the true transformation in your life?

The real answer is in changing YOU. But that is the last place most of us will look. The teaching of the world is out of order.

We are taught to DO.

DO go to college

DO get a great job or start a business

DO get married, have a family, buy a house, buy a bigger house…..

DO, DO, Do

Then we think we will HAVE

HAVE success

HAVE the American dream

HAVE all the things money can buy…..

HAVE, HAVE, and HAVE more

Then we will BE

BE happy

BE fulfilled

BE truly successful.

However, after following this path of DO-HAVE-BE, most of us find that we worked hard and sacrificed our time and attention on things that, in the end, did not give us the happiness we thought would be the reward.

The good news – Finding true success only takes an instant. One dramatic instant where you flip the order of the 3 little words.

BE DO HAVE

First BE who you really are. When you are in your highest state of BEingness, you will only DO what is in alignment with who you really are. The rabbit trails will be a thing of the past.

By Being authentic and Doing accordingly, you will immediately HAVE the most important things there are; a love and life that is filled with true passion because it comes from your authentic self. Your beingness.

 

Difficult Simplicity

head to wall

 

Difficult Simplicity Those are two words that don’t seem to go together, but there is a profound truth within them.

Because…. There appears to be nothing more difficult than to convince us humans that the real answers to our burning questions are easy.

They are so easy, in fact, that even when we hear them, we cannot imagine that they actually ARE the answers.

And so, we run thru life chasing our tails, beating our heads against immovable walls, and insisting upon swimming against the tide for decades.

All the time we’re doing this, we are absolutely sure that we are going in the right direction, making it impossible for anyone to convince us to step off the hamster wheel.

I was right there, dizzy with everyone else, until I got thrown off by outside forces.

Thank God!

I never would have known to stop. Difficulty and complexity were, after all, the way to become successful. Or so I thought.

That must be the reason so many people look at me blankly when I tell them my favorite all time quote.

“Someday, after mastering the winds, the waves, the tides and gravity, we shall harness for God the energies of love, and then, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.”   Teilhard de Chardin

Chardin was a Jesuit Priest, born in the 1800s. He obviously stepped off the hamster wheel at some point, himself.

He looked back and saw how we chase after, analyze and try to control everything in the outside world, when the real authentic power is that of love.

If we could give up our silly struggles and first embody love, the fire of passion would light the simple path to fulfillment.

Don’t be a Heel! Feel

unhappy

Let’s face it. Nobody can really hide their emotions.

Oh they can pretend to do it. Instead of clearing the air and dealing with negative feelings in a straight forward manner, they can pretend nothing is bothering them.

We all can notice the way resentments rear their ugly heads through sarcasm or giving other people attitude. Think, rolling the eyes, shooting the ‘look’.

Several years ago I taught an attitude course for a group of juveniles in a lock up facility. You could just tell by their body language that several did not value what I was teaching them.

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So that day I decided to use myself as an example.

I first struck a pose to indicate that I was disgusted with them. They named it. Next I walked in the room as if I thought I was better than everyone else. They called that one too. There were several other personas I took on. They read me like a book.

After we had had a little fun at my expense, I turned the tables on some of them. “What is Jeff saying to us right now?” They could easily name boredom, uninterested, and all the basic ‘I could care less’ attitudes. They could also name attentive and willingness.

Now turn your eyes upon yourself. When you don’t work out your unforgiveness, you aren’t fooling anyone.

Some people think that it is better just to hide their heads in the sand rather than face their true feelings. I’m all for letting past hurts go, but that does not happen by pretending that they never happened. When you push your negative feelings down, they do nothing but fester under the surface. And, that’s no way to get rid of them.

If you can work out your differences with someone in a kind way, communication and cooperation are always my preference. However, that is not always possible.

There is a healthy way clear the energy of past hurts. Transform them.

  1. Take a good look at the hurts you are carrying. List them if that will help.
  2. Look more deeply. There was a blessing in each one of them.
  3. Discover how you can honestly see the positive aspect of that experience.
  4. Find the gift it held for you.

Every circumstance is different, but you will be able to find the blessing if you look for it. It will change your entire perspective.